I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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