You made me cry and you don't even care
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
