so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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