Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
