Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
