The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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