Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
