I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
