WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
