normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
