It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
