I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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