I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
