I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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