Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
