She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize