Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
3 2 1 whiskey
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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