sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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