Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
