It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
