i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Pants are for mortals
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
