What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Can you bring me the toilet please
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
