I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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