My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
