I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I am naked and annoyed.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Randomize
