you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
