I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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