Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Randomize