There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
