Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
so let's talk penis.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
