So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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