I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
