On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
