My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Randomize
