she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
