Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
