i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
