Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
