6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
