...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
she looked like the before picture.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
