I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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