How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize