Im at strip club and am horny
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
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