he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
