He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize