turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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