It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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