you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Randomize
