hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Randomize
