We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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