How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize