I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I think I just sharted jello shots
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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