wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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