Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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