In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
