thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
