I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
We have started to decorate penises.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
