I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
