I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
