Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize