he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
