Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
