My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
