what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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