i think my tv is drunk
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
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