Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
