I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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