What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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