I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
