i jhust puked up my retainher.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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