Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
