Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Randomize