the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
