all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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