I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Sober January is a disaster.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
