Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
