Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize