hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
