And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
