its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I wear drunk well.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
