I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
