Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
pop tarts are not kleenex
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
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